Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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