Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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