Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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