Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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