OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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