I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
