are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
