I wanna passion pit in your ass
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize
