wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
