i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
