I bet he comes in French.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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