dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
