hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
