If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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