I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
did i walk over a car last night?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Come share oat with me in your robe
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
