woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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