I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
