No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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