tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
