Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
