i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
