Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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