K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
