At least make sure they are 18
Why
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
high people should be assigned attendants
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Alive.
So much puke
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
