imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
