So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
