You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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