Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
