It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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