We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
