Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Randomize
