I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
