I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
