its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You ruined the universe
Randomize
