i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
