tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
50% drunk capacity currently
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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