I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
