its not stalking. its research.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
