but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
