There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
