i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
