mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
