So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
