Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
