yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
