she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
