So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
