We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
This is the high leading the old right now
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
