absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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