girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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