Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
