Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Im part way to drunk.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
